This years christmas present challenges

Charlie and Owen Penhall Dec 2010

It took me by surprise when Charlie placed a very specific order for Buzz Light Year (BLY), not one but two.  It is incredible that at the age of three he is understanding concepts and communicating in full sentences.  He knows that BLY is cool too!

I walked all over Marion Shopping Centre, dodging crowds of people to find BLY but BLY was very popular and had sold out at Big W, Target and Kmart.  By that stage I was getting tired of shopping but was determined to get what my little boy wanted.  I dragged myself to the most expensive store David Jones and to my delight found BLY with a 30% discount.  Awesome!

Later while the children were sleeping, I carefully wrapped all of the presents and placed them perfectly underneath the brightly decorated Christmas tree. I felt exhausted but excited.

The other Christmas present challenge was to stop the children opening them before the big day.  Many of my friends suggested ways of keeping those presents safe.  I visualised a baby gate totally surrounding the tree with tinsel on top.  Another friend was using a bean bag to deter her one year old son.  My mother thought I was absolutely mad.

The temptation was too great and the children were too little to understand.  As far as Charlie was concerned all presents were Charlie's presents.  As far as Owen was concerned all wrapping was Owen's wrapping.  In the end I decided to hide the presents inside our bedroom wardrobe.  At least they would be safe there.

On Sunday morning I was deeply engrossed in a phone conversation with a cousin who's having a baby and Jamie was busy too when Charlie appeared in front of me with Buzz Light Year (BLY).  To my surprise, BLY was no longer wrapped.  Did BLY break free of his wrapping in the night?  Or maybe he had a little helper like Woody? 

I ran into the bedroom to find all of the presents unwrapped and all over the floor. I found it amusing that Charlie had gone through every present to pick out any chocolates and put them in a neat little pile on our bed.  I actually thought it was funny and was not upset because how could you be angry at a three year old child who wants to open up ALL of the Christmas presents.  Bless him the Cheeky Little Monkey. 

Jamie and I re-wrapped the presents and put them in a safer place.  Times like these will be remembered.

I'm looking forward to Christmas Day.

Creative Life Writing

I'm gaining a new confidence to say out loud "I love to write". 

There's something in me that just wants to get in down on paper.  Gorgeous little stories about my life and my forebears has been a meaningful topic of late.  I've always kept a diary/journal and now I blog. 

Recently I met this wonderful lady Lindy Warrell - Anthropologist/Writer.  She runs a Buddhist meditation group and various types of writing courses.  She lives next door to my brother at Aldinga. 

When I heard she was doing writing courses I thought it would be a good idea to do the Creative Life Writing course.  I wanted to learn new ways to get my story down on paper.

Every week we focused on a different topic.  Some weeks I struggled with the concept.  As a shy person, it was hard bringing up stories about my life that were both personal and sensitive to a group of strangers.  Sometimes I found it difficult to bring out emotion, and tell the whole truth because of embarrassment and privacy. 

The practical side of the course was very interesting and provided us with insight into our own life. At each session we were asked to write short stories. Lindy would give us a few minutes to write a short story about a topic eg. write a short story about when you said yes to something when you really wanted to say no. Then one at a time we would go around the group to share. The different stories that came out of these practical session were amazing.

If we were not happy with what we wrote we were not allowed to say sorry otherwise we would have to put invisible money in the invisible money jar.

The different stories that the other ladies told about their lives were incredible.  Their ability to provide imagery to their piece and with feelings of emotion that excited the group.  Some sessions were like counselling, although we were always reminded not to council but provide a support of silence because many stories were very personal bringing up the stories of rape, abandonment, cruelty to children, physical and emotion violence, drugs, and more.  All of these things that were very personal to the writer.  Importantly, we were always reminded to keep it confidential and not discuss out of the group. 

Personally I struggled with the week we discussed emotions because I couldn't seem write the whole truth and Lindy and the other ladies knew this straight away.

Write about what we learnt here when i find my notes..................

Throughout the course, I wrote some lovely short stories and my final essay (was rushed sorry thats $10 in the money jar) but could be expanded upon with interesting feedback from Lindy and the other ladies.  One of the ladies who I adored said that I need to come more outward, give more emotion into the stories eg what it feels like to do my karate, the passion, the feeling, the emotion, and provide more of a sense to who I am as a person.  This person who is interested in all of these things, but what it is like to actually do it.  What I am like at home when I am angry, etc too.  This is definitely something I can work onto paper.  Positive feedback no doubt.  Write more about the feedback here. 

I loved all of the other ladies stories too.  They were all gifted writers and lovely ladies too with amazing stories. 

I have put my name down to do the course again next year because I will continue to grow, different stories will arise from each session about my life and Lindy will change the course outline and examples.  Some of the ladies have been doing the course more than once. 

My life story will become more outward onto paper which will be a lovely keepsake and it will help me work through different issues in my life too.  It will also help me gain confidence in both writing and public speaking too.

Nine months of...

At 34, the most important event of my life was the birth of my boys Charlie and then at 37 Owen. What an amazing thing to give someone life.


Nine months of pain, heaviness, mood swings, morning sickness and lack of sleep in exchange for the most amazing and deep feeling of love. Nothing can be stronger than that true love between the mother or parent and their child.

The first time I met them was incredible. Their little eyes staring back at me. It was like I knew them already. I just couldn’t stop looking at them. I was so happy. Remembering that feeling makes me want to have another baby.

Nine months of pain, heaviness, mood swing, morning sickness, and lack of sleep. All worth it.

I’ve forgotten that, and I have two beautiful boys to cherish.

Engagement BBQ

I'm at Ian and Jo's engagement party.  Everyone is having a fantastic time, small groups of people mingling, smoking cigarettes and laughing.  Maybe I will help with cooking the barbie, show off my multi tasking skills, in fact I can cook a BBQ better than any of those men over there, who are sculling down bears by the dozen.

I clicked on the ignition button to light the barbie, in fact two BBQs.  I piled on beautiful fat sausages, marinated shaslicks with chicken, mushrooms and capsicum about thirty of those and some beef ones too, big t-bone steaks, and burgers by the dozen. There was so much meat piled up on each plate, easy.

Turning everything, geez I'm so clever.  This is going to be absolutely delicious and I'm helping my friends at this very important engagement party. 

OMG the BBQ has exploded into flames, everything is on fire, its to hot, black BBQ meat, shaslicks, sausages, steaks all on fire.  OMG how embarrassing.  I could see all those faces staring at me. 

Parting ways with my son at child care

Tears welled up in my eyes.  I couldn't believe that I would feel this intense feeling of guilt and abandonment when leaving my little boy at childcare. 

Friends had talked about their own experience leaving their child in care with strangers for the day so they could go to work but I never really understood how they felt.  It just didn't connect with me until I was put in the same position.

So Charlie's first day was harder for me then him but at the same time I felt so sad and he knew something was going on.  He grabbed my leg and kept hiding behind me from the ladies and children.  Such a little sensitive soul my little boy. 

We encouraged him to sit with the other children around a small table to have breakfast and then when he wasn't looking I sneaked out through a door into another room and left him.   I couldn't bear to see him upset that I had gone. 

In the car I cried.  I felts so bad. 

It's been more than a year since I first parted with him and he still cries and I cry a bit inside too.  They tell me he is okay about five minutes after I leave playing with the other children.  He is fine.  I'm not completely fine but he's in good hands. 

Parting ways with my my little boy is hard sometimes.

Charlie's 3rd Birthday Party 2010

Caleb, Charlie and Mia

Personally I think having a birthday in between Christmas and New Years celebration is one of the cruelest things you can do to a child.  All they want is to have a party with their friends, but when you have a birthday then people are usually away on their annual camping holiday or have something else on. Something like that anyway.   So this year we celebrated Charlie's birthday six weeks early on Sunday 14 November at the park at the MV rail mini trains at Morphett Vale. 

It was such a fabulous place to have a kids party.  We managed to get a spot under a big gum tree with some shade, and there was a big wooden table we used for the food.  So it was a massive park, with a creek, playground, RC track nearby, public toilet and about 50 metres away the mini steam trains. 

 Everyone was really generous by giving Charlie really beautiful gifts.  Most of the gifts were trucks, trains, cars, a harmonica, art and craft stuff, to tum tennis, and a Thomas DVD (and more).  We put all of them under a big gum tree and opened most of them when we got home.  He loved his new toys.

The food was devine.  Diana made 160 sausage rolls, Auntie Helen curried eggs, Dad 50 cream horns with cherry's on top, Tania yummy chocolate crackles, Renae a sweet twist, and Chris the amazing Thomas the Train Cake.  There were sandwiches, fairy bread, dips and meats too.

You should have seen this cake.  It was incredible.  Everyone was in aw of the cake.  Chris never does things in halves.  He is totally intelligent and a perfectionist.  He made the most amazing cake I have ever seen.  It was a Thomas Cake (of course) with the most incredible detail.  All of the kids gathered around the cake and were all very polite too.  None of them touched it or anything. They all waited quietly until we sang Happy Birthday and started cutting it.  Most of the kids came back for seconds and thirds. 



The Amazing Thomas the Train Cake





So after lunch and cake we all had rides on the mini steam and diesel trains.  Those are actually scaled down versions of the big trains.  They use coal and diesel to fuel them.  The track they run on is about 1.2 kilometres, and you can have as many rides as you want.  The kids and adults loved them.

So we had an awesome day.  Charlie enjoyed getting spoilt with presents and playing with his friends too.  So a big thank you to everyone for those beautiful gifts and helping out, and just coming along.  Love you all.  xx

By the way, if you ever want to go ride cool trains the details are on the MV rail website http://www.mvrail.org.au/

Also, my girlfriend Renae who runs her own card design business did the invitations.  They looked really awesome too.  If you want to check out her card design website "Cherry Bliss Designs" see http://www.cherrybliss.com.au/

I want to be Laura Ingalls-Wilder (Little Prairie on the House)

The Ingalls Family

Growing up did you ever have an idol or wish to be just like someone on TV. 

At the age of three years, every night on television at 7.30pm Fat Cat would wish all the children a good night with a kiss. I would be tucked into bed by mother and she would always read me a children’s story. “Good night my dear.” she said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Looking back I clearly remember that night. Unbeknown to me my parents had been devising the most scandalous plan to put me to bed without having watch my favourite program “Little House on the Prairie”. They had failed to tell me about my program and had turned down the volume on the television.

Despite this, I could still hear the familiar music coming down the hallway from the lounge room. Oh my goodness, how could they do this to me. How could they not let me watch LHOTP my favourite program and my favourite little girl Laura Ingalls-Wilder. HOW DARE THEY!

My little footprints could be heard coming down the hallway. My parents looking at me as the tears streamed down my cheeks and I was so sad I could hardly speak. With my bottom lip quivering “I I I I want want want to to to watch watch Little Prairie on the House.” (actually my parents insist I was screaming). My parents both having found this amusing and also feeling a little bad allowed me to stay.

Little House on the Prairie followed the lives of the Ingalls family who lived in a quaint little house on the banks of Plum Creek in Minnesota during the 1890s. It always started with the same music as Ingalls children ran down a steep hill through long golden grassy plains that surrounded their home.

Often narrated by Laura who at the time was a little girl just like me, the story showed her daily life and she often pondered on her future and the lessons learned.

I loved Laura. I wanted to be just like her. She was my idol and I loved those 19th century outfits. Those dresses that covered your entire body from neck, down the arms to your wrist, in tight at the waist and a long flowing skirt down the ground. They were usually a plain brown or blue colour and the girls wore little white pinafores over the top. Often having won breaking the chicken wishbone I would secretly wish for an entire wardrobe of LHOTP clothes. Bring them on!

I was obsessed and I was a little girl just like Laura.